Cool, Calm and Collected: Tips for Easing Anxiety

(Written by Emily Thomas)

Managing anxiety for both parents and children is essential for promoting emotional well-being and family harmony. Anxiety can affect individuals of all ages, and it's important to address it proactively. Being a cheerleader for your child when they're struggling with anxiety is incredibly important and can make a significant difference in their ability to manage their anxiety and build resilience. 

Tips for Managing Anxiety for Parents and Children 

Managing parental anxiety is crucial for several reasons, as it can have a significant impact on both parents' well-being and the overall family dynamic. Parental anxiety can impact a parent's ability to function effectively in their role. When parents are anxious, they may struggle with decision-making, problem-solving, and maintaining daily routines. Managing anxiety can enhance parental functioning and make it easier to meet the demands of parenting.

Self-Care

Parents need to prioritize self-care. Ensure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising and taking time for yourself. When parents are physically and mentally healthy, they are better equipped to handle their children's anxiety. Parents' emotional well-being directly influences their children's emotional well-being. Children often mirror their parents' emotions, so anxious parents may inadvertently transmit their anxiety to their children. Managing parental anxiety helps create a more positive emotional atmosphere at home.

Set Realistic Expectations

Understand that it's normal for everyone to experience anxiety at times. Set realistic expectations and avoid putting too much pressure on yourself and your child to always be calm and composed. Reassure your child that you are there for them and that you love and support them unconditionally. Remind them that anxiety is something they can manage, and you're there to help them through it. Overcoming anxiety can be a gradual process, and acknowledging progress can boost their self-esteem. While it's important to be supportive, avoid being overprotective. Encourage your child to face their fears gradually and develop resilience.

Open Communication and Validation

Anxiety can hinder effective communication within the family and anxious parents may have difficulty expressing themselves clearly or may avoid discussing important topics. Managing parental anxiety can lead to improved communication and problem-solving within the family. Encourage open and honest communication with your child. Let them know that it's okay to talk about their feelings and worries without judgment. Listen actively and empathetically when they do share and be sure to validate your child's feelings. Let them know that it's normal to feel anxious at times and that their experience is valid. Avoid minimizing their emotions or telling them to "just relax" or “move on”. Create an environment where your child feels safe talking about their feelings and encourage open and non-judgmental discussions about anxiety, fears, and worries. 

Educate Yourself

Learn about anxiety disorders, their symptoms, and treatment options. Understanding what you or your child is going through will help you offer better support. Help your child identify what triggers their anxiety. This can be specific situations, thoughts, or events. Once identified, you can work together to develop strategies to cope with these triggers. Monitor your child's exposure to stressors, including excessive academic or extracurricular pressures, and make necessary adjustments to reduce their stress load.

Encourage and Model Coping Strategies

Teach and encourage your child to use healthy coping strategies to manage their anxiety. These could include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, or physical activities like yoga or sports. Children often learn by example. Model healthy coping strategies in your own life, so your child can see how to manage stress and anxiety effectively.

Mindfulness and Relaxation

Introduce age-appropriate mindfulness techniques, such as guided imagery or body scans. These exercises can help children stay present and calm. Teach your child simple deep-breathing exercises to help them manage anxiety. Inhaling slowly through the nose and exhaling through the mouth can help calm their nervous system. You can use fun visualizations like "smelling the flowers" and "blowing out the candles" to make it more engaging for kids. Encourage them to take slow, deep breaths when they feel anxious. There are many mindfulness apps and resources designed specifically for kids

Create a Worry Jar

Have your child write down their worries on slips of paper and place them in a "worry jar." This can symbolize letting go of their worries temporarily, with the understanding that they can revisit them later if needed.

Positive Self-Talk

Teach your child to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Encourage them to challenge irrational fears and replace them with more rational and positive thinking patterns. For instance, if they're worried about a test, help them reframe it as a chance to learn and do their best.

Regular Exercise and Healthy Diet

Physical activity and a balanced diet can have a positive impact on mood and anxiety. Encourage your child to engage in regular exercise and eat nutritious meals. Engage in physical activities with your child, like dancing, going for a walk, or playing sports. Exercise can help reduce anxiety and release endorphins, which boost mood.

Art and Creative Expression

Encourage your child to express their feelings through art, journaling or other creative activities. This can be a therapeutic way for them to process emotions.

Create a Relaxation Space

Designate a calm and comfortable space in your home where your child can retreat when they feel overwhelmed. Fill it with soothing items like favorite books, stuffed animals, soft blankets and calming music. 

Seek Professional Help

If you or your child's anxiety is significantly impacting daily life, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who specializes in treating anxiety disorders. Understand that progress may be slow, and setbacks are common when dealing with anxiety. Be patient and avoid putting pressure on yourself or your child to "get over" their anxiety quickly.

Children can learn to help themselves when they're feeling anxious by practicing various strategies that promote emotional regulation and resilience. It is important for children to learn how to manage anxiety, as doing so can have a significant impact on their overall well-being and future development. 

(Terry Golaner, with Charm City Counseling - founded by our very own Napp mama Candace Ellrich - will be offering a virtual parenting group following the treatment protocol SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions)  Click here for more information.)

Remember that every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Pay attention to your child's specific needs and preferences. Your role as a cheerleader is to provide unwavering support and encouragement as they navigate their journey to managing anxiety. It is an ongoing process, and it may require time and patience. Be supportive, and if necessary, seek professional help to ensure that both you and your child receive the guidance and support needed to manage anxiety effectively.